Tuesday 30 July 2013

Changes: Finding stability in unstable times.

As some of you may know, I'm starting a very new challenge/journey in the next few weeks. I'll be leaving my job, leaving the place that I've called home for 8 years, moving to a place that I've never called home, and going to a school where I know nobody. Typing that sentence felt a lot like repeatedly hitting the proverbial panic button... my heart is racing.



So, why the heck am I doing this to myself? I'm not sure. But part of me does believe that there is something beautiful to be discovered under this mound of uncertainty, change and challenge.

Today I want to talk about finding that beauty in the chaos that is change. It's not easy... my goodness it's not easy. During bouts of uncertainty, every sun that rises feels like just another fiery ball that you have to juggle. They say time heals everything ... but when everything is coming at you a mile a minute, time does the exact opposite. 

How do we freeze time? Well, unless we're Jesse Bradford in Clockstoppers, we can't. Instead, the best that we can do is slow down, adapt and enjoy the ride. Easier said than done, right?

So here are a few ways that I've started to find stability in the fun house that is my life right now.

1) Spending time alone. As the most extroverted extrovert in the tri-city area, this is very difficult for me. But more and more, I'm realizing that the moments I get to spend alone provide me with the time and space to actually THINK about what's going on in my life and what I have to be thankful for.

2) Fully experiencing my emotions. This is one that I learned from Tuesdays with Morrie (seriously guys, read it): “If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely.” Yeah, what he said. If you feel scared, FEEL IT. If you feel worried, FEEL IT. And always give yourself the time and space to do so (see #1).

3) Lastly, revelling in the little moments. For me, this one is massive. I'm not only leaving a city, but I'm leaving a community, a comfort, people that I love. Now, I'm not going to Mars and I know that I'll be back, but there is something so unsettling about going to a place where if I have an emergency, I have no one to call. So I've been taking time to revel in every little moment ... running into old friends at Starbucks, enjoying a glass (or several glasses) of wine with good friends ... all of those familiar experiences that I take for granted and have taken for granted all of these years.

As the days pass and I near my inevitable big bang of chaos and uncertainty, these are the things that keep me moving, adapting and preparing for the challenges that lie ahead. Chaos is all around us, why not embrace it?

And when in doubt, "I give myself a good cry if I need it, but then I concentrate on all good things still in my life." - Tuesdays with Morrie

Friday 28 June 2013

Objects in mirror are closer than they appear

As I reclined in the passenger seat of my '07 Pontiac Vibe enjoying some much-needed rest and jamming with the BF to Darius Rucker's new album, I caught myself staring at the rear view mirror. As it blurred in and out of focus, I started to internalize the mirror's robotic slogan that we can all recite from memory: "Objects in mirror are closer than they appear".


This simple phrase has been around so long that to most of us it's just a string of meaningless letters. But if you think about it as something new ... perhaps a proverb or a chapter title in a Mitch Albom book, it starts to take a different, more meaningful shape.

Let me explain. We are so often inundated by quotes, cover photos and instagram/beautiful mess pics telling us to forget the past, never look back, throw off the bowlines, shoot for the moon, etc. etc. And yes, it's important to be forward-looking and strive to be better than the person that you were yesterday, but what about using the past to our advantage instead of forgetting it altogether?

This is where our all-caps Arial proverb comes into play. Can't it be argued that the past is always closer than it appears? And furthermore, in order to stop, turn, or change lanes on this highway that we call life, should we not be paying closer attention to the things behind us that have gotten us this far?

To be honest, I'm not sure. There are some parts of my past that I never want to think about for the rest of my life. But, then again, every single moment that I've experienced in my 25 years of life represents a thread, no matter how small, in the fabric of my being.

So today, I want you to think about those objects that you see when you look in your life's rear view mirror. Really look at them... no matter how far you want them to be in your past, take the time to truly see how close they are to the amazing person that you're becoming. Let them empower you to throw off the bowlines and *insert other boating analogy here*. Keep them with you as you grow with every experience, knowing that today is but tomorrow's yesterday... and each is equally important to who you truly are.

"We are a product of our past but we don't have to be prisoners of it." - Rick Warren



Friday 10 May 2013

The Theories Series Vol. 3: Survivor flip cup and the Social Change Model.

Have you ever played Survivor Flip Cup? It is unbelievable. It's a flurry of outwit, outplay and outlast that's built on a beautiful foundation of beer and shouting. Which, coincidentally, are two of my favourite weekend things. I LOVE IT.

So today, in order to describe the Social Change Model of Leadership Development (SCM), we're going to play a game of Outwit.Outplay.Outflip. Please listen to this in the background while you read on...

The SCM is based on development in three distinct areas - Self, Group and Community. It aims to develop in people greater self-knowledge and leadership competence. Which exactly what drinking games ALSO do, right? This model, much like a game of Survivor Flip Cup, identifies the areas in which we can intentionally develop ourselves in order to create positive change and contribute to the greater good. In the case of this delightful drinking game, we intentionally develop ourselves in order to create the social change of more drinking and ridiculous amounts of fun. I know it's a stretch but TGIF, right?

Let's look at each section of the SCM and break it down, Jeff Probst style.



Individual Development: In the game of Survivor Flip Cup, it's essential to develop your skills and abilities... not only for yourself, but for the greater good of the team. Because, as we know, if you don't flip, your team goes to tribal council and you'll probably be voted off and cry in a corner for the rest of the night. You must focus (which is easier said than done after a few "social" beverages), become grotesquely aware of your flipping mechanics, and do everything in your power to be better than the worst person on your team.

Group Development: Not only are you trying to be at least second-worst, you also need to work the team... this is particularly important if you're newer to the tribe. You must be acutely aware of the subtleties of this survivor culture and attempt integrate yourself seamlessly, much like when Jeff Probst announces a TWIST and people have to swap buffs. Through integrating yourself, you work to identify what individual qualities that you must exhibit and develop (loud cheering, high fives, talking SMACK to the other tribe, etc.) to mesh with your team, work together and ultimately destroy your opponents.

Community Development: Last, but certainly not least, we must direct our efforts towards social ends and service activities that will develop our own personal abilities as well as contribute to the greater good. In Survivor Flip Cup, it's all about the community. You rise as a team, or you spend the whole night at Tribal Council, creating dirty alliances and fighting with each other. To win, you must rally together, level out the table if a fellow tribe-mate is 8-flipping, grab their cup in a frenzy if they flip it off the table, etc. - All to serve your team and the greater good of being able to rub it in your opponents' faces once you win.

So, friends, there you have it - I have successfully destroyed a beautiful leadership development model that I use in my professional work everyday by relating it to my much less professional weekend activities. You're welcome.

Hopefully this helped you breakdown the model just a bit and, if not, inspired you to get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions this weekend.

Happy Friday! As always, I leave you with a very fitting quote ... from the one and only JP:

"Survivor is about your own integrity and where you draw your own ethical and moral lines. There are no rules" - Jeff Probst



Monday 25 March 2013

March Leadership Madness: A microcosm.

For as long as I can remember, I've been creating a bracket for March Madness. Ooo-ing and awhhh-ing at games, slamming my first when Duke loses or when the University of Hawaii upsets a top seed and, without fail, crying during the "One Shining Moment" montage that perennially follows the championship game.

I bet you have been too ... well maybe not the Duke part, pretty much everybody but me, and maybe J.J. Reddick, hates Duke.

While weeping at the red strike-outs that will inevitably litter your bracket, have you ever thought about what March Madness ACTUALLY is, in the grander scheme of things? If you haven't, don't fret because - spoiler alert! - I've figured it out.



MARCH MADNESS IS A MICROCOSM OF THE LIFE OF A LEADER.

Let me explain ...

1. March Madness demands the absolute best out of a team, every single time they step on the court. Much like in life, a good leader is always in the spotlight - they are expected to give their best every time they walk into the office or step onto the stage. And if they don't, they get overtaken by an unsuspecting underdog who wants it more, works harder for it, and outworks them. In this scenario, as a leader, be the underdog who wants it more and succeeds.

2. You must win to move on.  In leadership and in life, success almost always precedes progress. Not success in the way of money or fame. Success in the way of a job well done, giving absolutely everything that you have to something from beginning to end and having it recognized by the outcome. My old basketball coach used to say this to me every time I would throw the ball up at the net without focusing - COME ON CHRISTIE, SHOOT TO SCORE! The same thing goes in life - everything you do, do it to do it right and to the best of your ability... the wins will follow.

3. You must lose with grace. Ever noticed that at the end of the game, the cameras are never zeroed-in on the team that won? They almost always pan across the bench of the losers, hiding their tears under sweaty towels, lying on the ground and pulling their hair, or having a terrible-twos type of tantrum somewhere in the stadium. Always remember that when you lose, all eyes are on YOU. Losing with dignity goes much further than winning with dignity, especially later on when the dust has settled. People won't remember the score, but they WILL remember the idiot who threw 3 chairs into the audience (thank you, YouTube) because he missed his last few free throws.

4. If you lose, you're done. Now, I recognize that it's essential to "learn from failure", but let's look at each March Madness game as a year in the life of a leader (since the tournament is a condensed version of life...right?). I'm all for learning from your mistakes, but every failure has an expiration date. You only have  a finite amount of time to learn from whatever mistake it is that you've made and FIX IT. Much like a time-out in a March Madness game: teams focus on what's going wrong and then come back on the court ready to make it better.

5. And last, but certainly not least... Play your heart out, ALL THE WAY UNTIL THE END. We have all seen countless games decided in the last split-seconds of play. It aint over till it's over. Always remember to give everything you've got until the very last buzzer sounds and the whistle blows. Those dying moments expose true grit, true character, and true heart.

Remember, anything can happen in March Madness and in life. The way you sway the odds in your favour is through being prepared, working hard to succeed, losing with grace, learning from your mistakes (quickly!), and giving everything that you've got, right until the end.

So, I'll leave you with this: In this game that we call leadership and life, are you winning (please don't think about Charlie Sheen when I say that)? Or losing? If you feel like you're losing, take a time-out and figure out what you can do to make sure that the outcome is in your favour by the time the buzzer goes.

GO BLUE DEVILS.





Monday 4 March 2013

Silver Linings Playbook: Achieving the trifecta of movie greatness.

OMG I saw Silver Linings Playbook last night. Yes, I know, "welcome to a month ago, Kath". But seriously,  WOW.


Now I'm no movie critic (my main reason for liking a movie is directly correlated to the number of times it makes me cry uncontrollably), but I'm pretty sure that this one was good ... Good Will Hunting good.

Although I'm no critic, I believe that this is one of those movies that can change you. It can make you believe, love, dream. I saw it almost 24 hours ago and can't get it out of my mind (partly because of Bradley Cooper... I mean COME ON). It grabbed onto something in my heart and hasn't let go. It truly achieved the Kathryn Christie Trifecta of Movie Greatness (patent-pending... KCTMG for short):

1. It made me cry tears of sadness AND tears of joy.
2. It RESPECTFULLY and accurately addressed a legitimate societal reality that is in need of attention.
3. It made me root for every character, "good" or "bad".

Let me explain ...

1. Movies that make me cry only tears of sadness are day-ruiners. Because the movie experience doesn't just end when the final credits roll. I weep for a good three hours afterwards (often longer) with no glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel... it's a hot, snotty mess that nobody wants to be a part of. You've gotta mix in a father-son moment or old people kissing/holding hands to get this girl's seal of approval. Silver Linings Playbook had a plethora of father-son moments AND some adorable moments between the mom and dad. STAMPED.

2. This movie talks about mental illness. A big, important elephant that sits in every room and that not nearly enough people acknowledge. So I want to throw up a HUGE high five to everyone involved in this film from the man who wrote the book to the actors ... I believe it was extremely well done. I believe that they did a wonderful job portraying the struggles and triumphs of those living with mental illness and the people close to them.

3. For me, the beauty of a great film is that, although there are always heroes and villains, everyone gets a chance at redemption. I, sometimes to a fault, always look for the good in people. I love a movie that does it too. At some points in SLP, you want to just KNOCK a character out. But, as people often do in real life, the character surprises you... I like that. It makes me smile (and cry, obviously).

So, to conclude, go see this movie if you haven't seen it yet. Talk about it, talk about mental illness, talk about love, talk about happy tears, talk about Bradley Cooper's dreamy eyes. Seriously, they are so dreamy.
“Good movies make you care, make you believe in possibilities again." - Pauline Kael


Thursday 14 February 2013

Love actually is all around. Happy v-day!

For those of you who don't often say "damn the man" and hate that February 14th has been turned into a greedy cash-grab for the Hallmarks of the world, here are a few things that will warm even the chilliest of hearts on a day like today.

Love actually is all around. Opening credits from Love Actually ...
Seriously, how good is Love Actually?

Get your tissues ready for this one ... "Up: Love story"

Time to get up and dance ... "Stand by me: Playing for change"

The amazing story of Team Hoyt ... (unreal song in the background to help get your tear ducts going)

That's all for today ... a little tug on the heart strings on love day!

"Love wins. Love always wins." - Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie

Tuesday 12 February 2013

Saying no: When it's okay to be a "quitter".

So last week, as I was snowed into a hotel that's only amenity was a pre-teen infested public pool and a broken-down treadmill, I decided to watch 4 seasons of How I Met Your Mother, drink cheap wine and eat unnecessary amounts of goat cheese in my bed. Classy. While watching the episode of HIMYM where J.Lo has an epic cameo as the author of "Of course you're single, look at yourself, you dumb slut" (a self-help book that tells women to say "No" to empower them to get what they want... ie/ turn men into puppy-like servants ofcourse), I got to thinking about what it really means to be a nay-sayer.

So, here's what I think, J. LO.


I believe that saying "No" is a delicate art. Our dad's have always told us not to be quitters. "Quitters never win, winners never quit", yata yata yata. And Dad, I'm with ya. But sometimes, I truly do see the value of quitting. So, when does it make sense to turn on our heel and storm out, channeling our inner Brad from Happy Endings?

1) When your personal well-being is in jeopardy: I strongly believe that if you don't help yourself, you will never be able to help others. Our own personal well-being is absolutely paramount and too often overlooked. Now, I'm not saying that we should be selfish and only look out for numero uno, but once in a while, you gotta DO YOU. If anything at all is affecting your physical, mental or social health ... give it a good old "AW HAYLL NO." Trust me, you'll feel like a monumental weight has been lifted and it will benefit everyone involved, not just you.

2) When something doesn't feel "right": Ever get that feeling? That feeling that something is just ... off. Like when Cory and Topanga were ever in a fight, or when the Spice Girls tried to release an album without Ginger Spice? Yikes. Our instincts are way better than we give them credit for. When you feel uneasy, that often means that something is either a) happening that you don't morally agree with, b) someone you care about is going to be negatively affected by an anticipated outcome, or c) something is just straight WACK (click to 0:40 seconds).

3) When the input will not equal the outcome: This one is a little trickier. There's a theory in Organizational Behaviour called Equity Theory that equates an employee's satisfaction with the organization, their colleagues, etc. to an equal ratio of their inputs (efforts) and the perceived outcomes (rewards) related to their input. If they put a lot of effort into something and receive very little outcome, their satisfaction will be low and, somewhat surprisingly, if they put very little effort into something and receive a large outcome, they will also be dissatisfied. So, with this one, I encourage us all to channel our inner Miss Cleo and see the future outcomes of our efforts. Do your best to balance your efforts with your outcomes and if you know that something is going to work the hell out of you for little to no outcome (or vice versa) give it a big N-to-the-O.

Anyhoo, that's enough for today. Remember that there is always a place and a time to say "yes", and most definitely a place and a time to say "no". Also, say "no to drugs" ... that one's for you, Dad.

"The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes." - Tony Blair


Thursday 24 January 2013

Mind your P's and Q's: kindness does not mean weakness.

OKAY, so I get that I am a woman and with that, comes business-world-related issues. Glass ceiling/ inequality/ etc. etc. But that doesn't mean that I am going to change who I am to become some testosterone-slinging female version of Simon Cowell.

Female Simon Cowell
Why the rant, Kath?

Well, I read an article about how women say sorry to much and, to sugar coat it, it PISSED ME OFF.

I understand that women, in our nature, may be more empathetic and more concerned about the well-being of others... jeez, we're the worst. But how exactly are those faults? How are they crippling gender-specific shortcomings? I, personally, love the fact that I am empathetic and that my gal pals are too.

I also understand that we are all responsible for our own fate and we cannot use the fact that we are women and we "deflect conflict" or whatever as a crutch in the workplace. I GET THAT, I really do. But, for those of you who know me, you'll know that I'm not one to make excuses for pretty much anything. I get frustrated, I get focused, and I figure it out.

With that being said, I'd like to venture a new hypothesis about women in the workplace. Maybe it isn't the kind, loving women who need to change who they are and become a constant version of our pre-menstrual selves... maybe it is the culture in the workplace that needs a little tweaking. Maybe we could all benefit from being a bit more compassionate and empathetic from 9-5. To all the dudes out there, this is NOT intended to bash you - I think you're great and I think you should keep on doing what you do, because you are a HUGE asset to the workplace.

What I do intend to do, is motivate all of the women out there to do what my father always told me to do: Kill them with kindness. Yes, maybe being nice won't propel you up the corporate ladder faster than you can say "I'm sorry", but I promise you that it will pay off in the end... in more ways than one.

I'm nice. And I'm okay with that... you should be too.

So, to the person who wrote that article and to all of the others who have written similar ones, I'd like to say:

I'm SORRY for being a nice woman who cares about people in the workplace; and

THANK YOU for motivating me to be even nicer. Also, you're great and I'm sure you didn't write that article with the intention of hurting my feelings. I forgive you.


"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around." - Leo Buscaglia



Wednesday 2 January 2013

See ya never 2012: The best is yet to be.

Happy new year everyone! Best wishes, health and happiness, beauty and wonder, all the best, yata yata yata.

For all of you who had an absolutely earth-shaterringly magnificent 2012, this post might not be for you.

BUT, for those of you who wouldn't mind stealing 2012's lunch money and shoving it in a locker, join the club.

The wonderful thing about celebrating the "New Year", which is simply celebrating the fact that 365 days have passed, is that we can make it whatever we want to make it. For me, I like to see it as an anniversary of "firsts". Some of my firsts, such as my first jagerbomb or my first d-floor make out, are inconsequential in the great scheme of things ... I mean they were great, but let's think big picture here. Some firsts though, can and have been monumental moments. First steps in a new direction. Many years in my life have come and gone without much acknowledgement, sometimes because I've been a few sodas deep by the time midnight hit and sometimes because, well, I didn't need a reason to give the previous year a swirly and hope for a better one to come. But, my friends, this year I did. And I'm here to tell you that if you did too, this is our chance to take back what is ours. Our chance for a "first" ... our chance for a first step in the right direction.


I truly believe that once in a while, the universe decides that you need to make an epic change... That you need a personal TSN turning point. Now, we know that in order for a sports team to warrant said turning point, they basically need to hit rock bottom and then, like an ice cold Gatorade waiting in the fridge after a big night out, something saves them. I believe that these are the big monumental moments in our lives - the firsts that we'll tell our grand-kids about when we're old and have nothing else to say that they'll find interesting. These are the times when the universe has knocked us down, kicked us in the kidneys and yelled 'Yo Mama' jokes at us until we couldn't take it any more. And then, December 31st arrives and we have the beautiful opportunity to stand up, look the past year right in the face, turn our back on it, and move ON.

So, my friends, this is it - this is your chance to dramatically walk away from a year that may have bullied you a little more than you planned for. Stand up, muster up whatever energy you have, turn on your heel, and start marching. Left, right, left, right.

Let's not pass up this amazing chance to regain control ... the new year truly can bring you hope, wonder and beauty, you just have to get off your ass and take the first step towards it.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." - Lao-Tzu